My Calculus Romance: Fake Deep (REWRITE)
by memetoextreme
Summary: He took her calculus class. She took his heart. (I finally got around to rewriting this, yes!)(highly recommend reading the trash that is the original, My Calculus Romance.)(I can't believe I'm doing this smhh).


10/6/16: removed all of the a/n and mashed together chapters 1 and 2 because they were so fckn short and made them much more pleasant to read. really, this was so cringey, who let me write this? Also when the fuck did I start shipping marcelee like seriously.

8/30/17: hey, guys! wow, i just found the first part of this rewrite on an old flash drive and oh my god i lowkey want to start writing again. i can't believe i forgot i started this. i wrote a little update in my bio!

* * *

 ** _Marceline's POV_**

There was something so aesthetic about early mornings. Of course, I wasn't thinking that when I awoke to the sound of my obtrusive alarm clock, but the sentiment remained regardless. Maybe it was the bright overcast or the feeling of my feet warming up in my blankets, I was never quite sure. But mornings were, well, pleasant. At least on the weekends.

This morning was not part of the weekend.

Much like the large majority of sixteen year olds, I hated school. All of those asshole students, and pretentious teachers, and, ugh, work. Well, actually I was a pretty good student–one of the best, if I'm being completely honest. I made nice with all the teachers, was kind to all of the outcast students, and got some pretty great grades that would make almost any parent proud (emphasis on 'almost'). But, for some reason beyond me, that didn't make any of it easier. There were still hard times and they weren't going away. That was just the way it was.

But even though school was by far the least appealing thing I could be doing, I found my motivation. I knew my dad would kill me if he realized I skipped it (that is, if he even noticed at all), so I reluctantly got up, made my bed to the best of my ability, and showered. The water was kind of a wake up for me, telling me dream time was over and the universe needed me. When I got out and felt the cool, crisp air wash over me, it was like the world sighed in unison. And that was it: I was awake.

I changed into day clothes (a torn black singlet, oversized gray hoodie, jeans, and red laced boots, all from my store, thank you very much) and wandered aimlessly down the hallway. Sometimes I just wanted to burst into song and dance wildly around the huge house like they did in the movies (after all, I was the only occupant), but I wasn't that quirky. Instead, I grabbed my messenger bag, and after a quick breakfast of jam and toast, went to sit down on my front steps. Yeah, much duller in comparison. As a cute little addition to my arsenal of bleakness, my ass was going to hurt like hell; waiting for my friends to pick me up was a death sentence sometimes. Oh well, that was just the price I had to pay for not wanting to drive. Ever.

It was probably around 7:30, so I pulled out my phone to write a bit and look through my schedule for the week. No plans aside from the usual, again. How surprising. Marceline Abadeer, changing it up once in a while! What will she do next to shock the world?

When Fionna's blue car pulled up, I was saved from my self-induced embarrassment. Cake wasn't there, so I took shotgun.

"Hey, Marcy!"

"Hi, Fi," I said. "Where's your fake sister?"

She rolled her eyes at that. I always teased her about being adopted, but she said it never bothered her. At least that was what she claimed. Sometimes I couldn't read her but for the most part I could tell when I crossed a line. And I made it a point to never cross the line. In turn, she earned the right to make fun of my constant need for food and being rich/kinda famous because of my last name. It was a fun game we played.

"She's sick. I think she's got the stomach flu because she's throwing up and stuff and it is really gross."

I frowned. Cake didn't come to school on Thursday or Friday, and today was Monday. So she's been sick for… five days?

"Everything all right?" I asked. Concern was probably oozing from my tone of voice.

Fionna sighed—this ethereal sound that seemingly descended from the heavens to rest upon us. "She'll survive."

I nodded. "I'll come see her tonight. And I'll text Lady that we'll pick her up soon."

"Sure thing."

We sat in silence for a moment as I typed. It wasn't awkward in the slightest. That was something I was grateful for in Fionna. She was such a source of light that comfort radiated from even her smallest of grins. Silence was never awkward with her, and she made it better when I was in a state of unquietness.

My eyes fluttered and I glanced up from my phone at Fionna. It was meant to be brief but I found myself lingering. She was running her hand through her hair, eyes locked on the road as her wrist hung limply on top of the steering wheel. She was… beautiful. No, not the "I am romantically attracted to you because of your pretty face" beautiful, but the "wow, I am physically stunned by the way your appearance reflects your gorgeous interior" beautiful. She was light, everything good and pure and holy. For a minute, I believed she was the pale, shadowed manifestation of something like a supernova.

Okay, so that may have sounded a bit maudlin, or even overdramatic, but it was the truth. Her blonde hair was shimmering against the sun, blue eyes clear and determined, and her clothes were fitted, enough to show off her curves but not so much as to put it all out there. I admired that she could do that; wear whatever she wanted and feel no shame about it. She put up with a lot of shit because of her body shape.

Contrary to popular belief, I didn't envy her curves. That was because there was nothing wrong with not having curves as well. It didn't make me less of a "real" woman that I didn't have a curvaceous body. My body was more slender, and that was okay, just like her full figure was okay too. My body was good, her body was good. All bodies are good bodies. Why can't people get this through their heads?

She glanced at me. "You sent it yet?"

It took me a second to remember she was referring to the text I was supposed to be sending to Lady. _Wow, way to go, Marceline._ Instead of doing something important I was staring at my friend for a full minute thinking about how pretty she is. I had… troubled thoughts, didn't I? And the self esteem to match. But what a catch.

I looked over my text to Lady: **Hey dude, we'll be there in a few minutes. Please be ready this time lmao**

The fact that she never got up on time was both exasperating and endearing. Even if it was something incredibly pressing, she would keep hitting snooze until the last possible minute. How that girl managed her life throwing caution to the wind, I had no idea.

As I sent it, Fionna spoke up with casual excitement. "On the bright side of things, Queen Bitch won't be at school today."

We grinned in almost creepy synchronization. Queen Bitch was what we liked to call our _great_ friend Ashley King.

"You always know how to brighten my day. Why won't she come? Daddy grounded her for playing around with his toys too much?"

"I think Finn pushed her down some stairs, actually…"

The suddenness of her statement had me choking on my on saliva laughing. Was I expecting that? No, no, I was not. Finn Hughman, one of the four hottest bad boys in school, pushing Ashley King, the most "perfect," bratty, bitchy vixen in existence, down a flight of stairs? It seemed too good to be true.

But Fionna never lied about tea like this.

"I take it back," I said, " _that_ is what brightened my day."

"Right?" Fionna agreed with a chuckle. "Oh, and your boyfriend just happens to now have fourth period with you."

That ended my giggle fit.

I groaned. "When will you guys stop that? I've never even talked to him."

"That doesn't mean you're not perfect for each other!"

" _You've_ never even talked to him!"

She scoffed. "I have my ways. And I know, from what I know of him, that you two totally belong together."

I groaned again, sinking back into my seat. "Oh yeah? Then what do you know about him?"

"I know that he's a nerd about certain books, has an amazing voice, is a total badass, absolutely loves–"

"And he's off-limits."

Fionna rolled her eyes. "Just because the two most evil witches in the school like him doesn't mean you can't marry him."

I sighed and told her that in her hopeless romantic frenzy she passed Lady's house.

We were talking about none other than Marshall Lee Pierce, Teen Heart-Throb, Greatest Musician, King of Badass. I, of course, didn't have any kind of feelings towards him whatsoever. I'd never spoken with him and the closest I could ever recall getting near him was when he passed by with his friends in the hallway. The only interest I ever had in him was regarding my personal safety, as he and his friends were known for being pretty freaking violent. But still, that didn't stop Fionna, Cake, and Lady from "shipping" us. Quite frankly it irritated the hell out of me. But since there was never anything I could do to quell their… _intense_ feelings, I was forced to let them ship and fantasize.

Then I realized Fionna had said fourth period, which was G12 calculus. My jaw dropped. He had G12 calculus? I never took him for a, well, smart guy. I mean, it was hard just for _me_ to get in, and I had one of the highest GPAs in the school.

Lady's sweet voice pulled me from my thoughts.

She tossed her bag into the car and plopped down. "Whoa, why is Marcy so pissed?"

I almost chortled. No "hello," no "how are you guys," just "why is Marcy pissed?"

"Oh, you know," Fionna replied, "we're just talking about the love of her life."

Even though I couldn't see her, I could feel her roll her eyes and smile. "Glob save us."

"I think you mean Glob save the Vampire Queen."

This time I rolled my eyes. That reference was so unnecessary.

Thankfully Lady changed the subject to a much more preferable one (specifically the unholy obscenities found all over Maja Mahariel's social medias) until we got to school.

I stepped out of the car, taking in everything around me. It was important to take stock of what you were dealing with at this school. Since the parking lot was directly in front of the steps to the entrance, I had a good frame of reference.

The Triplets (Sabrina, Gina, and Katrina Princesse) were speaking with the Twins (Clarence and Clarisse Ghost) in hushed whispers, like they were either trying to talk about something secret or not be noticed. Maybe both. Then underneath the huge 'Pendleton Ward High School' sign next to the Triplets and Twins were the Triplers (Sal, Gil, and Kel Princeton). I found it cute that Kel was persistent in his endeavors to gain Clarisse's attention. His brothers were snickering to themselves about it.

Ash Psyche and his gang of perverted assholes were hanging out on the steps, eying us in a _very_ uncomfortable way. That was something they did often, that nearly all men did often. We knew that there was almost no stopping it. Oh the joys of being female: fear and danger everywhere.

Before I had an anxiety attack, I tried to find something else to look at. Instead, a deep scowl tugged at the corners of my mouth, for I discovered an almost equally unpleasant sight: the Perfects. Ten in total, and without their leader Ashley, making them nine, they looked angrier than ever. A full analysis is necessary.

First you had Summer Sera, Winter Willow, Aiden Aaron, and Elliot Evan. Sweetest kids you could ever know. I texted them regularly (behind Ashley's back, of course). The Faye twins, Summer and Winter, and I had been on friendly terms since we were snot-filled ankle-biters. Aiden and Elliot Niles tagged along just as we entered our elementary school years. It astonished me when they started hanging out with the assholes they call friends, but since they're pushovers, it made sense that pushers adopted them into their fold. I personally thought Ashley just wanted them with her clique because of their reputation, but I wouldn't dare say that out loud, not unless I wanted to get gutted in the middle of the night. The point was that the two sets of twins were the only redeemable ones of the crew.

Then came Bubba Gumball. He was nice, but that was all I could really say of him. He was a little dorky, and extremely awkward, from what I could tell of the few times I ever spoke with him. But still, he was very nice. Again, only word that I could really apply to him. I did hear some rumors that he had a crush on me and hated Marshall Lee, but… I tried to brush those off. Despite Bubba's sweet exterior, the fact that such an apparently kindhearted person would spend time with evil ones was very off-putting.

Next came Lily Simran Prices and Leon Sheldon Preiss, or the LSPs. A match made in hell. They were just plain mean. They were spoiled, cocky, mannerless, and perhaps the most disrespectful, rudimentary people I'd ever met. Not to mention the fact that they didn't give a damn about PDA. Rest in peace to the poor sods who happened to catch them sucking face in the hallway. It was not a pretty sight.

The most, well, intriguing out of the bunch was Maja. She was the epitome of creepy. Unlike Ashley, she was quick and calculating and actually thought out her evil schemes. She used her head and turned off her heart. I'd only seen her lose her temper on a few rare occasions, and even then her emotions were still under her control. She was cold. There was no telling what dark depths her mind held. Yeah, that makes her sound like a Batman villain, but there was no other way to put it. She terrified me.

Last, but certainly not least, was Bonnibel Bubblegum. If the moon could ever take form, it would be in her. She represented something beautiful but annihilating. I used to know her. In fact, she was my best friend when we were tweens. But she was different now. I never understood why she changed but she did. There was no sense focusing on what was. She was with _them_ now; it wouldn't surprise me to see her and Maja pining for Ashley's place as second in command. And while I didn't like to admit it, it bothered me to see her with them. It bothered me a lot…

"What's wrong?"

"Queen? You okay? Marcy?"

"Marceline."

I snapped back into reality when Fionna and Lady's faces took over my vision. Lady was clutching my right hand like it was the only thing she had to hold on to. Fionna was gently rubbing my arm, eyebrows puckered at the center. They were obviously concerned. How distressed did I look?

"Everything okay?" Lady asked.

"Yeah, we almost lost you for a minute there."

I stared at them. What was I supposed to say? Sorry I zoned out and started mentally surveying the field of students like a sports player before a game? Sorry that that's a totally screwed up way of looking at other students?

Words started to form in my mouth but they slowly tumbled out into incoherent jumbles of terms and letters. My brain was static.

Fionna stepped back, staring at the ground intensely for a moment. "I have no idea what any of that meant."

Frustrated, I opened my mouth to say something, but then I saw them. Then I saw the Vampire Knights.

"Whoa," I breathed out.

Walking in a perfect straight line, dressed completely in black, in all their badass glory were Marshall Lee Pierce, Finn and Jake Hughman, and Lordo Monochromicorn.

I didn't freak out or do anything that most kids do when they see them (i.e. gasping, crying, screeching, swooning, groaning, anything short of dying…) but they did strangely calm me down. Like, I could think properly again when I looked at them. Thankfully, they also drew Fionna and Lady's attention away from me. Fionna appeared starstruck. I knew how much she respected Finn. Lady bit her lip, then blushed and turned her kaleidoscopic eyes elsewhere. If Cake were there, she most likely would've been drooling and making crude comments.

I couldn't blame Cake or Lady there. The Vampire Knights were very attractive, even I couldn't deny it. Lordo had ink black hair, stormy gray eyes, and was probably the most charismatic of the bunch. Jake lived for laughter, even if it was the kind that inspired fear, and had messy brown hair and large dopey eyes. Finn was the definition of 'hero,' from what I'd heard. Or maybe it was antihero. The rumors were never consistent.

Then there came Marshall Lee. I knew little to nothing about him other than what my girls told me, as well as the plain facts that people were both petrified and turned on by him. I think it was that there was some sort of allure about him. He got in fights, he smiled at elderly people, he disrespected who he wanted, and he was totally and completely sexy. I could see the kinky appeal of him.

I sighed. Thinking about that was sure to be bad for my aura of _not_ being interested in him.

"Come on, you two," I said. "Let's get to class."

They mumbled their agreements and shouldered their bags as they followed me up the steps.

The school was laid out like it was on a grid, with most hallways being straight horizontal and vertical lines that intersected. It made the school both easier and more difficult to navigate. Even after years of coming here I still got lost from time to time. Thankfully the girls and I had a system where we would 'drop off' each other at our respective classes. Fionna always went first, then Lady, and Cake and I had first period together. That way none of us had to walk anywhere alone or get cornered by—

"There's my baby girl!"

…Ash…

Halfway up the stone steps, I paused. He made whistling and kissing sounds to get my attention, followed by his friends giggling to themselves. That was probably one of the worst things he could've done. It made me feel like I wasn't even a woman—just some barnyard animal or maybe even a simple object for their viewing pleasure.

I shut my eyes, balling my hands into fists. _I'm not going to lose control,_ I told myself. _Dad would be very mad. I am not going to lose control._

"Yo, come on, baby, turn around for me, let me see a twirl!"

 _He is making it very difficult to not lose control._

The three of us turned around to face them. Ash and his cronies' sickeningly ecstatic faces made my stomach turn. I faltered a little when I realized that even with a height boost from standing on stairs, Ash was still level with me. I glowered as harshly as I could.

"Now, that ain't a nice look! Smile!"

His eyes held a menacing glint, a possessive shine. He wanted to add me to his list of girls he's defiled heinously, as he has wanted for years. But I wouldn't let my resolve crumble. My jaw clenched.

 _I am not going to lose control._

Lady snapped first. She burst into Korean, racing through expletives and profanities I could barely pick up. Yet none of them seemed deterred by it. In fact, some of them were smiling at her. Xerg, one of Ash's closest dickheads, took as step closer to her. My heart lurched in my chest, but I knew that if I turned my attention to him then Ash would do something violent to me.

 _I am not going to lose control._

Fionna took action in my place.

"Get the hell away from her, weirdo!" She lunged past me, planted her hands on his stomach, and threw him to the ground.

 _I am not going to lose control._

Ash stared me in the eye, leering. "Better get your friend under control." He sucked his teeth. "You know that we don't always like 'em feisty… though that hourglass is nice to look at."

 _I am not going to lose control._

He rested his hand on my left shoulder, his grip firm and unforgiving.

 _I am not going to lose control._

"You all right, baby?"

…

I lost control.

The hand on my shoulder was seated deep in my mind. I grabbed it with my left hand and yanked it forward. Then I stuck my right arm out at his neck, turning his body to just the right angle I'd need. He was perpendicular to me, so I lifted my leg and kicked the back of his knees as hard as I could. Nothing felt better than seeing his smug, self-satisfied expression morph into shock as his legs were swept out from under him.

He toppled down the steps and hit the solid ground with a hard _smack!_ His friends were quick to laugh, but once he started yelling at them they helped him sit up straight and fix his clothes, including a fake ass Gucci belt that was worth less than his time. He wiped blood from his cheek, which had scraped against the concrete, and glared up at with me, his eyes full of intense loathing. I thought nothing else in that moment other than that he radiated putridity.

A sharp titter bubbled up out of Lady. I looked at her and saw that she and Fionna were holding each other and staring out over the entrance, where the Perfects, Triplets, Triplers, Twins, and outcasts were all watching us with intent, watchful eyes. Like wild animals in the middle of night, they slowly turned their eyes elsewhere, twinkling at whatever else they chose to focus on. A few glanced back up. Fionna peered at them inquisitorially.

She scowled. "Don't act surprised." She pointed at Ash. "You know what he is. You know what he does to us—to all women."

"Go ahead, Lily," Lady said, her attention centered only on LSP. "Post whatever you want about what happened. You're helping to stop him without even knowing it."

LSP squinted at her, scrunching her nose up. But she didn't put her phone away.

"What he does to girls is wrong," Fionna continued. "Judge us if you like, but we're the only ones who took action against a monster. It wasn't glamorous, it wasn't romantic. It was harsh and bitter and real. And we would gladly stand up to him again."

This came as a thunderbolt to me. When did they start giving speeches like this? It wasn't like we were making a political statement, unless high school clique politics count. We just did what was necessary. But you know what wasn't necessary? These damn speeches.

I'd once seen my mother give a speech in front of a large monstrous crowd. I couldn't remember what she'd said, but I could clearly recall what she'd done at the end.

I bowed low, my hands sticking out a bit like a bird preparing to take flight. "Thank you for your scrutiny."

When I looked up and all the stoic, lifeless faces gawked back at me, only one snagged my gaze. Marshall Lee was staring at me, this expression of sheer wonderment and awe on his model face. His red eyes held influence and his lips were parted, one corner slowly tugging upwards. Was it possible that I had actually… impressed him? Huh...

Ash was still sitting on the ground, pathetic and humiliated. I realized just how weak he really was. I think other people noticed too because suddenly half of them were applauding. The other half were cheering. Maja and the LSPs rolled their eyes but the rest of the Perfects remained still in stunned silence. Bubba was grinning like a fool. I couldn't bring myself to look at Bonnie.

Satisfied, I turned on my heel and ushered my friends through the school entrance. Something about the way we were being glorified out there felt wrong.

None of us spoke a word between the time we entered the school and dropped Fionna off at math. That is, until Lady and I were halfway to her first class and she quietly murmured something under her breath.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Nothing."

I eyed her through my peripheral vision but said nothing. I wasn't about pushing people.

Apparently she reconsidered, however, because suddenly she rushed out, "Do you miss Bonnie?"

Wow. So that was a wake-up call. Did she have to throw that curveball at me right now?

I stared straight ahead, considering my words carefully. I nodded. "Of course I miss her. She was a big part of my life. I often wonder where we'd be if she hadn't done what she did."

Silence. Then a sigh.

"Me too."

Lady had taken it almost as hard as I did when Bonnie left us. Though she was my best friend, Lady was also very close to her. The day they met they bonded over the Korean language, and it was because of Bonnie that any of us tried to learn it for Lady's sake. They shared a different kind of connection. I will admit I was jealous at times, but I learned to get over myself. We were five—Marceline and her vampires—and nothing came between us like that.

At least most of the time.

The thing was, when we had troubles in our group, we faced the problem head on and dealt with it. No prolonging the pain or offense, no shade thrown someone's way unnecessarily. And that, I believe, is what made us better than the Perfects. It might have also been what drove Bonnie to the point she had to do what she did. Who knows?

The atmosphere was growing too tense, so I leaned over and ran my hand through Lady's long thick hair, examining it. Her roots were showing.

"We have to dye your hair again," I said. "This is trash. And not the good kind."

"I know, I know. There's just so much."

"We'll do it this week then."

Another ritual we had every so often was the dyeing of Lady's hair. She was never happy with the color, so when we were small little preteens Bonnie showed us how to dye it in all the colors of the rainbow. Lady never picked it up right (the amount of times I had to scrub and bleach dye from the walls, floors, and sinks at our houses was ridiculous), so the three of us often did it for her. Cake was the best at it.

We made it to Lady's first period, so she waved me goodbye and called out, "See you soon, Queen."

I smiled and waved back.

Turning around, the hall was suddenly daunting without someone next to me. It was a good thing that my first class, history, wasn't too far from Lady's English period. It was kinda surreal how suddenly conscious I was of everyone around me now that I was alone and left with my thoughts. Sobering.

I frowned slightly when I got to the door. Cake had this class with me. She always made it better. Ever since I was a kid, I hated history, mostly because 90% of it after the 1600s consisted of the Abadeers "contributing great things to society." It was aggravating and annoying. I didn't want to be reminded of my family ever waking moment. Cake and her diametrically opposite personality compared to mine would always cheer me up about it.

"Hey, Betty," I greeted as I walked in.

She looked up at me from her desk and smiled. "Hello, Marceline. How was your weekend?"

I shrugged weakly. "Nothing to report."

So that was a huge lie but whatever.

Looking around the classroom, I shifted on my feet uncomfortably. Betty eyed me with intense interest. She knew me very well, and she also knew I was close with Cake, and that said girl was absent. She was going to ask about her, and I wasn't okay with that. I didn't like being in the class without another student who I was comfortable with. It was kind of a social anxiety thing. Talking about it with Betty wouldn't help.

"Something wrong?"

I shook my head, perhaps a little too quickly.

She paused, contemplating something. I prayed to Glob she wouldn't ask about Cake. I loved Betty but I didn't want her delving into matters like that.

"Well, you can always talk to me if you need to."

I nodded because it was true. Betty was very sweet (and one of those cool teachers that let you call them by their first name), and had even invited me to her and Simon's – well, Mr. Petrikov – wedding. Since I knew Simon from when I was younger, I was one of the first to find out about their relationship. It made me feel good to see him smiling so much. After I met Betty, we hit it off. I was able to open up to her and vice versa. She was a good teacher, and amazing friend. However, sometimes she could be overbearing when it came to serious things. I didn't need that at the moment.

"Please, take your seat, Marcy."

I did as she told, and watched as other students began to file into the room, which was the slightest bit awkward, considering what had just gone down in the front courtyard.

There wasn't a single one I didn't identify as an outcast: kids who never made it into any of the big groups. I felt bad for them, not because they didn't belong to a clique, but because of the way that they were treated for not being in a clique. I tried to be as nice to them as possible. After a while, I was able to form some sort of friendship with them. We weren't close enough to regularly chat, but we could spend time with each other without it being weird. We were safety nets for each other.

Lots of them said that they admired me (which was nice for my self esteem) and that I "turned the weak into soldiers." I had never known what to say to that. I mean, yeah, I helped them up when they fell, but I didn't think that simple acts of kindness could affect people so much. It was sad that they were treated with such scorn that something typically found human of another person, like helping pick up their books when they fell, were almost blessings to them. They'd never felt human kindness before from another teenager. And all because the Perfects were so insecure that they had to make others suffer.

I understood how it felt, I guess, and that's why I felt the need to comfort them so much.

Well, that and I always caved in when it came to empathy. Lady said that I was too empathetic for my own good. But Lady always said things like that. She called me the Fallen-Angel Vampire Queen, the basis for that being that I could be incredibly sweet and caring one moment, then a terrifying demon the next (and the fact that I was known as the Vampire Queen nationwide).

I saw Lordo Monochromicorn walk in and take his usual seat next to me. I tensed up. This was a Vampire Knight, after all. Just because he and Jake sat next to me in history didn't mean we were BFFs, or that we even talked for that matter! I still hardly knew them, they still hardly knew me. With their reputation of being badasses that brawled more times than I could count, I was being cautious.

He stared at me, then the seat in front of me, then back to me. It took me a moment to see that he was looking for Cake. She usually sat ahead of me. Then Jake came in to sit behind him. They whispered things to each other.

Then, "Hey Marceline?"

I froze. Was Lordo Monochromicorn seriously calling my name? Was he actually, really, _seriously_ trying to talk to me?

What the fuck was going on with the world today?

Slowly, I faced him, trying to not let the surprise or slight fear invade my voice. "Yeah?"

He looked at me for a moment, then grinned boyishly. "Where's Cake?"

I stared at him incredulously, perhaps with a bit of horror. Because really, _what the fuck was going on with the world?_

"You look angry and confused," he said nervously. "Uh, why are you angry and confused?"

"Are you forgetting that you're a Vampire Knight?" I whispered harshly. Dangerous thing to do, calling out a VK like that, but I couldn't stop myself. "You shouldn't be talking to me like this."

He frowned deeply. Shaking his head, he pouted. "I was just wondering where…" He trailed off, a scowl still pressed into his chiseled face. His voice was somber when he next spoke. "Really, Miss Abadeer, I don't mean to come off as creepy or violent. If I do, I'm sorry. I just… where is Cake today?"

I couldn't form a coherent thought. This was truly a sight of the times. Lordo was apologizing to me. Apologizing. Over seemingly nothing! None of the rumors ever led me to believe something like this would ever happen.

Maybe to make it less awkward, since I was too dumbfounded to respond, Jake piped up and teased, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Shut up…"

Jake laughed.

Lordo sunk low in his seat. "This is why we need Marshall…"

"What, you want the _dad friend_ with us right now? Dude, why?"

Yet again, I was surprised by them. They actually… weren't that scary, if I was completely honest. Maybe the rumors really were exaggerating.

Jake and Lordo had started arguing, so I decided to tune out. I was sick of having my mind blown.

I did whatever I could to pass the time, be it play with a pencil, tap my foot, even count the students. Nothing seemed to make the clock run faster, and with Jake and Lordo's childish bickering resonating throughout the room, time was moving even slower.

"MARCELINE!" the boys yelled.

"Huh?"

Jake started. "Marcy—can I call you Marcy? I'm going to—please tell Lordo that he's being a stubborn dick–"

"Language!" Betty called.

Jake grumbled. "Fine. Tell him he's being a jerk and he needs to stop!"

Lordo snorted. "You started it!"

I sighed, almost smiling. What was I, a moderator? Was _I_ about the become the replacement dad friend?

Then the bell rang, signaling the start of class.

* * *

As I was walking towards my locker, I ran into someone, or maybe two people. They both let out small girlish cries. I looked up to see tight ash blonde curls and a pair of ice green eyes staring at me. To the left was an identical girl with loose wavy curls and the same huge piercing eyes.

"Hey Winter, Summer," I said. "I'm sorry for, like, colliding with you both."

Summer smiled. "It's all right."

"We were just coming by to say hello," Winter said.

"And to tell you Ashley won't be here today."

"At least before Maja notices," Winter said, completing their weird twin sentence.

"Oh," I said, eyes flickering between the two, "yeah, I heard."

"Good. We just wanted to give you a heads up," Winter said.

Summer frowned. "Don't want you worrying about running into her."

I smiled. They were very considerate of others. Remind me again why they hung out with such assholes?

"Thanks, guys."

"Oh, and I think Maja is especially mad at you today," Summer said.

"What did I do this time?"

They shrugged in synch and, in unison, said, "Don't know."

"Just…" Winter sighed. "Be careful."

"You too," I said. "Don't let them know we talked. Wouldn't want them getting rid of my favorite Perfect twins, would I?"

"Hey!" two voices cried at once. I knew it was Aiden and Elliot without having to turn towards them.

"That's not fair!" Aiden said as they sauntered towards us.

I chuckled. "What isn't fair?"

"They're girls!" Elliot protested. "You like them more because they're girls and you're a girl too."

I rolled my eyes, reaching into my locker to put away my books.

"You know I didn't mean it," I joked.

"You better not have…" Aiden mumbled.

Elliot bumped my shoulder. "That scene this morning was pretty freaking cool."

"Watching Ash go down like that was the most glorious thing I've seen in years."

"I think even Leon was impressed," Summer said.

"W-well," I stuttered, "we were in a bad situation. Instincts kicked in, since no one else was going to anything."

Summer and Winter glanced at each other out of the corners of their their eyes.

I checked the time. "Hey, I gotta get to class, but I'll text you guys later."

"'Kay," the four of them said together, which sent shivers down my spine. Do all twins have some sort of telepathic brainwave that makes them do things in synch?

As we walked out separate ways, I looked back at my locker, where we were just standing. No one would have a clue they were talking to me. If word got back to Maja or Ashley, they would kill them. I had to be more careful, for their sakes.

* * *

"Hey, Queen," Katrina greeted in the locker room. She and most of our other friends liked to use my title of Vampire Queen every so often.

"Hey, Kat."

"Looking forward to today's hour of torture?"

"Ecstatic," I replied sarcastically.

Gym was supposed to be fun. The teacher, Billy Strong (he liked us to just call him Billy), was really chill. The fact that Katrina, who was as equally unfit as I was, was there made things less brutal. The activities were very creative too. There was just one problem; we shared the class with Lily Simran Prices, Maja Mahariel, Ashley King, and Bubba Gumball. Because I just had to get popular kids in my class, didn't I? Of course I did.

Honestly, what were the chances that the Perfects got to take classes together? Lily was mean, but that was a given, Maja and Ashley were always just being nasty and superficial, and Bubba was painfully awkward. All combined with my lame ass and Katrina's loner personality, it was an uncomfortable experience in the best of terms.

"At least Ashley won't be here," Katrina said.

"It's probably a terrible thing to say, but since I know I'm going to hell already, I'll just say it: I'm glad she was shoved down those stairs."

"I won't say she deserved it..."

I gave Katrina an are-you-serious look.

"But it doesn't change the fact that she's a big stupid little… urgh…"

I smirked at her as we started changing into our gym clothes. Katrina never swore. Neither did her sisters, the Triplers, or the twins from Ashley's gang. Clarence and Clarisse did though, and every time they said something, they'd get disapproving looks from Katrina or Kel. I thought it was cute.

The cool air hit me as we stepped out into the courtyard.

"Let's just get this over with," I said apathetically.

We stood by a basketball hoop. Billy said we were going to be running the Pacer (oh joy! My heart yearns for the Pacer. Insert groan here). We chatted casually. That was something I liked about Katrina: she could talk about anything and everything. And she brought up the scene from this morning only once! I think she knew I didn't want to talk about it.

I was laughing along with her about a story she was telling when I saw a blur of color in the corner of my eye. Through my peripheral vision I could see two people standing there, both female. _Oh no, please,_ I thought. _Not today._

"Look at our favorite Abadeer, ready to play."

* * *

8/30/17: are you guys excited? I'M EXCITED! i hope this time around i can progress through the story quicker and update more often! be sure to leave a review to tell me what you think :)

also, yes, i made both a fall out boy and an snk reference deal with it haha

oh, and even though this is a rewrite, i'm gonna keep with the happy thoughts because idk, someone needs it.

HAPPY THOUGHT:  
Even on your worst nights just remember that some girl on a computer in San Francisco loves you and will do anything to keep you smiling.


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